Last Friday I attended an awards ceremony in Orlando Florida for the top women business owners in the US. Enterprising Woman Magazine does this annually and this year I was a winner in the top category – Businesses of over $25 million. My advertising agency hit $40 million in revenue this last year. I was shocked to learn that my firm and the others in this category represent the top one-half of one percent of women owned companies in the US. I thought a few observations would be worth sharing.

The group of winners, finalists and board members – about 125 in total – were from throughout the U.S. A great looking group of strong and powerful women. What was remarkable was the sense of determination and perseverance. CEO’s and presidents of companies ranging from manufacturing, freight, IT to marketing and advertising, the common thread was our devotion to our companies. The focus was on growth and revenue not on competing. In contrast to award ceremonies I have been at with men and women, I was struck by the lack of references to “winning,” beating the others or breaking records.  All of these women had received accolades in their home cities – CEO of the Year, Leading Business Woman, Humanitarian awards, etc., so they were not lacking in recognition. But there was a sense of let’s get on with the business – none of us were done. These women had what it takes – they work hard, they know how to sell, they run efficient and profitable companies and they are proud of it.

On a sad but revealing note - few of the women brought their spouses. In fact, sitting with me was one of the winners in my category (a woman from Dallas); she shared with me that she had not even told her husband about the award or the event. She runs a $60 million company where he is the CFO and she told him she had a business meeting in Florida. What a shame. She explained that he was not the best of company at these ceremonies and it was not worth telling him. She did not want to take the negative attitude and comments.  Then other winner at my table with another $35 million company explained that she had been divorced for 3 years and that her success was inversely related to the happiness in her marriage. What a shame – all of us know that personal happiness is key. If we don’t get support from those around us – we are being handicapped. The old phrase “Behind every powerful man, there is a good wife.” Shouldn’t that be true for women leaders? I suspect this is one reason we keep our businesses smaller than men – we need to ”keep the peace.”

These women are not alone. I took my husband Scott to the event. He was delightful at the dinner, but leading up to it, it was not easy. Somehow these recognition events reflect more on them than on us. It seems to heighten concerns about ego, comparisons, lack of accomplishment, etc. I don’t have the answers to this. I just see the phenomenon around me.

I would be interested in hearing how other successful women deal with their husbands egos – especially when their accomplishments are being recognized. Is this an unspoken force holding us back? Will this change with younger generations?

Renee